Almost pretty enough to be homosexual

Evil As Doorknobs

Zearoth Kilrathle
26 August
I assume this is the best place to inform you as to why you would like read my Livejournal, and what I intend to do with it.

If you found it through what I would consider the 'standard' means, then I assume you have contact with me somewhere, be it in real life or the internet, and you have been curious enough to click the link in my profile, which already implies that you have some interest in this.

With that base established, allow me to elaborate.

My main goal with this LJ is to practice my writing. Leaving hollow notes inside my notebook would not bring much in the form of constructive critics, which is something I desire from you, my dear readers. I want you to be honest enough to say 'mate, that text was crap' and then explain why and how I can improve it. I also appreciate positive feedback, not only because my ego basks in it, but also because it indicates that I am on the right track.

And yes, I have English as a secondary language, so I might make mistakes that I am not even aware of, hit me in the head with them, if you would.

What I will mainly post here should be short essays on various subjects that are of interest to me, as well as short fiction. I would like to be capable of posting poetry, but I still have a 'teen' in my age, so I'm cursed to write bad poetry until my mid-twenties, in the very least. Also I might come along with reviews of movies or books that I have just suffered through (or enjoyed, you never know), and even links to sites of interest that I believe anyone with an Internet connection should be aware of.

The why, the what, the how, the who, the where and the when.

Why the name?
_Because it is both ridiculously absurd and preciously stylish. It originally came to my mind as I walking (not-so) calmly after a nasty piece of argument. Incidentally, if you think about it, you can see how a Doorknob might very well be the epitome of the Seven Deadly Sins.

What's up with the title?
_As is common knowledge, truly attractive men are all homosexual. That's because a perverse race of communist aliens with rainbow colored ray-guns actively seeks and homofies every exemplar of male beauty. I am almost there, and I am quite confident of that because mom would never lie to me.

How come you have disabled replies?
_Because everyone who has knowledge of this LJ has other –more efficient- means of contacting me. In addition, it helps to conceal the fact that my audience might very well be smarter than me and, finally, hides the total indifferent most of these entries receive. (not counting irrelevant replies like 'aww')

Where can you be contacted?
_I can be contacted through MSN at aqsi_-at-hotmail-dot-com or by e-mail in adievko-at-gmail-dot-com. For the puzzle solving among you, my phone number is 99-Oblivion-Unity-Quintessence-Unity-Mundanity-Humanity.

When will we be finally rid of you?
_By entry 181.

That's all for now.
i enjoy doing this.